Archive for » July, 2005 «

My Imperfect Looks

30 Jul 2005 by
Went for facial yesterday. Haven’t done in months as I was too busy and kept cancelling my appointment. I think the beautician got panic and thought I’d stop seeing her, and so she called and asked me to go. She’d wait even if I’m late. In fact, I was quite late…
After not seeing me for some time, the first thing she commented was:

Beautician: Wah, you’ve been under the sun lately?
Shoppingmum: Ya loh, have to drive a long way to kindy and rush back at 3 something to pick up kids from school.

Beautician: Your face looks darker. Your completion got worse, have lots of freckles and uneven patches. I think your melanin is getting worse.
Shoppingmum: What to do, under the sun mah…

Beautician: Why don’t u buy my serum? It’s really effective.
Shoppingmum: I have already (which I use sparingly because it’s extremely expensive), not finish yet.

Beautician: I know u have, u from xxxxx brand mah. But mine is better, can see results faster.
Shoppingmum: Better than SK11?

Beautician: Hai yo, I got 2 customer last time used SK11, now change to mine already. U better try out.
Shoppingmum: Ok, how much ah? Got smaller size or not (thought small size cheaper)

Beautician: Got, 15ml for RM180, better get the whole set, only RM399.
Shoppingmum: …..(No money leh, shoppingdad didn’t give…)

Beautician: You just give birth right? Breastfeed right? Want to firm your breasts or not? I have this new machine and firming mask which is very effective from Spain, only RM500 and can use for 4 times.
Shoppingmum: So expensive ah?

Beautician: Where got! I only charge the mask, not service. Lots of my customers like it. There’s one who lose more than 10kg after 2 months leh…
Shoppingmum: No need lah…

Beautician: If not, you try your friend’s package, only RM500 for 10 session, but only on thigh, buttock or tummy. She’s doing it, you didn’t know meh?
Shoppingmum: I know…(but didn’t see much difference leh, and she also breastfeed like me to lose weight)

Beautician: Come next week, I’ll let you try…
Shoppingmum:….

After a facial session, I left feeling lousy with my face and body. I look so chan meh??? Or she’s only doing business?

This morning I woke up half dead because Justin was not sleeping well last night. But I looked at myself into the mirror and saw how bad my dark circles are, how dull my completion is, and how pale my lips. Then I turned and saw Justin’s playing with daddy on bed. My ugly look is nothing for the time being.
Psss…Have to ask shoppingdad to work harder. 20 years later I’ll buy expensive products and paste on my face to rescue it! LOL!

Category: Myself, Ngam ngam cham cham  Comments off

Talkative Justin

28 Jul 2005 by
My MIL said Justin’s very “cheong hei”, also ye ye ya ya, pa pa ba ba, da da ah ah all the day. He’s trying to talk to us, but none of us knows what’s he’s trying to say. I just guess most of the time, and sometimes I got it right, like he wants to sleep, drink milk, go kai kai and etc. But when I don’t get what he wants to tell me, he’ll get frustrated and cries. Poor fella, I think he’s trying his best to talk but mommy is rather clueless on what’s he’s trying to say.
I read about baby sign language, and thought about teaching Justin so we can “communicate”. I tried with “milk / nen nen” sign with him. He just looked at me, and observed my hand action. However, he never repeats the action, and I’m not sure if he understands too. Maybe teaching him baby sign language is not a good idea.
It’s cute to see him grumbling when we didn’t get what he means. His frustrated looks is so cute!
Category: Justin  Comments off

Emotionally Neglected Children

27 Jul 2005 by
Not every child is neglected or abandoned because of poverty, drugs, abuse & etc. There’re normal children who’re neglected by parents who love them too. I’m only a new mother, but I’m learning from my school children’s lifes.

Case 1:
This 4-year-old boy is underweight. He’s vomitted a few times at school and my principal has found out that he’s staying with the nanny during weekdays, and the nanny doesn’t practise healthy eating habit with him. He will take junk food and jelly for breakfast, skip dinner if he likes, and can take any junk food from the fridge at nanny’s place. So, when he’s taking the morning breakfast at school, he’ll vomit because of “gas” in the stomach. He’s hungry, not can’t take much food. Even for lunch also he’s taking only a little bit.
My principal talked to his father, and asked if he’s taking healthy food during the weekends. Since he’s only back 2 days a week, the parents too sayang to force him, and let him has whatever junk food his likes. I think the parents also feel better if they let him has his own ways since they’ve not been taking care of him often enough.
I talked to the boy. Seems like he wants to stay with the parents too, but the father refused. He said they can’t take care of him and the other 7 year old brother. The boy was a bit sad about it, but he doesn’t tell the parents. I think the parents may think that he’s still young, and he’s not hurt. But he is hurt.

Case 2:
A 3 year old boy who’s extremely quiet when I was first took over the kindy. He refused to stay eye contact with anyone at first, but now he’s doing better and takes part in class activities more often.
His mum has another 2 younger children aged 1 year old and 2 months. She’s working full time, while her husband’s working in oversea. So the 3 children will be left with the maid. She complaining that the boy doesn’t talk to her, but only to the maid. When the school needs to get anything or info about this boy, we’re having a tough time contacting the mother hp’s too. Only the maid picks up the phone and knows everything about the boy.
The boy seems unhappy to be with his mother. And the mother is angry with his behaviour. It’s hard for the mother too since she has the children in such a close gap and can’t pay full attention on them. But I really pity the little boy who’s crying for his mother’s attention, but at least he can get some from the maid.

I keep reminding myself not to use “no time”, “busy”, “so much work” etc as excuses for not being with Justin. It’s really tough juggling both career and family lifes, but I think it’s worth putting all my effort on my baby. I really hope that he can grow up feeling blessed with love and undevoted attention from both his mom and dad.
It’s not the parents fault sometimes when they decided not to be with the children. “Wan sek ka nan” means it’s hard to earn a living, and not all are blessed with financial stability. But I really hope that the boys will have more quality time with the parents.

Category: Ngam ngam cham cham, Others  Comments off

Baking Cookies

26 Jul 2005 by
I was late to kindy this morning. I suppose to be there early to snap photos as today the children will learn how to bake cookies. Thru this activity, I hope that the children will learn how to measure the ingredient (mathematical sense), make the dough and mould into favourite shapes(motor skills), and understand that we need heat to bake cookies in oven (basic science). Most importantly, the kids were having fun by doing it.
When I reached there, my principal has taken the photos, while the children were busy placing their cookies on tray and waiting for baking process. They’re all delighted to see the baked cookies and couldn’t wait to taste them. I took a piece, it surely doesn’t taste as good as those commercial cookies, but I was proud of the children. I can see that they put lots of effort in doing it, and really hope that their mummies and daddies would like it too. One child told me that she’d like her gong-gong and poh-poh to try too. Too bad each children can only bring home 5 cookies, if not they can share with more members of the family.
I can’t wait for the day when Justin is old enough to bake cookies for me. Even if it’s burnt, I’ll sure be eating it with a proud smile.
Category: Fun Time  Comments off

Bringing Up a Genius Baby

22 Jul 2005 by
I’m in education line, and I read lots of materials about how human brains develop, what’re stored in left or right hemisphere of brains, what can parents do to enhance their babies’ brains, and etc.
Sad to say, I don’t really practise what I’ve learnt on Justin. Partly it’s because as a working mum [promoted to full time already *sob, sob*], what I want to do when I reach home is to hug my baby, bathe him, feed him, play & talk with him, and rather exhausted to do what I’ve been doing at school again on him.
Besides, I’m really questioning the effect of over-trained babies. To me, if the parents’ intention of “training babies” is to spend more quality time with their babies or building their babies curiousity in learning and interests in reading, then it’s acceptable to me. But if the intention is only to bring up a genius and be proud of their effort, I’ll hesitate.
Some parents told me that I should well train Justin because I know the ways. But what I really want is to have a healthy happy baby who’s growing up to be find and well-manner, and has confident with himself no matter what’s his IQ, EQ, CQ, AQ, and whatever quotients should there be.
I’ve seen some high-scorer students who’re really bad in their social skills, adapting ability, and morale. They emphasize too much on academic results and ignore the other aspects of human development. Sometimes, when they failed to achieve the highest rank or score, they’ll cry and throw tantrums. Quite kiasu even if they only primary students. I wonder if they’ll ever learn how to face failure and learn the lesson, and then try to do better in the future. As adults, we know how important it is to know how to face and accept some failures in life sometimes, and still live on by looking for other solutions. I think this should be taught when children are young.
Of coz, as parents we should do our best to bring up our children and hope that they excel in their lifes. But should we really train them to the extent of pressuring our children to achieve certain milestone at certain time?
One parent talked to me days ago asking if her son will be able to write well when he’s in primary school. She said nowadays children need to copy a lot from the blackboard and she’s afraid that since my school doesn’t stress on writing for 4 years old, will that be a problem later? I think writing is part of motor skills for children. They’ll write well when they’re ready, if this mother is to force her son to write and copy a lot at home, then the poor boy will freak out and hate doing his work after some time. So what’s the point of forcing? What do children really learn from copying and writing lots of homework? Why parents always think that children should be doing lots of homework to learn?
So, I’ve been doing lots of thinking in how to bring up Justin. I don’t think I want my son to be like some of my children who’s afraid of school, hate their parents of pushing so much, and curse their teachers too. I want him to be happy, even if he has a normal IQ of 100 and can’t make it to Mensa!
Category: Mothering Moments  Comments off

Giving birth: Scary?

20 Jul 2005 by
My friend who’s expecting her first baby next year had a talk with me yesterday. She was asking me if is really painful to give birth naturally? If the contraction is painful, she’ll opt for caesarean. She’s extremely scared of the pain.
To me, I think the contraction is bearable. It’s painful, but I tried to think positively that with each contraction, my baby is getting out and I’ll be holding him sooner. But I got epidural since I want to be alert and not exhausted after giving birth. At that time, I just wanted to make breastfeeding successful, and I didn’t want to feel too pain and sore until I knock out after giving birth.
I think with today’s advance technology in medical field, more and more women are getting worried with our motherly ability to give birth. Maybe we’re well informed or scared too much by our mothers’ painful experiences, or we watch too much tv that showed a woman pushing hard and yelling at the same time when giving birth.
Mankind has existed for so long, and before last century, women were giving birth without painkiller, and yet many still survive. Besides, without contraception, they are giving birth almost every year and to a bunch of kids. Why are women today have to think twice before giving birth and so afraid of it? Maybe we have to think about financial ability, our career, health condition, spouse’s readiness, and etc, then only will determine if a baby should come into the world.

Baby is God’s option that the world should go on.

This sentence caught my attention, and I think it’s really true that as women, our lifes are not complete without babies, at least one. So, if we have an option of not going thru the pain like our ancestors, and if financial and physically capable, why don’t we give birth more? Then again, some are also thinking about how babies will change their XO body shapes.

Category: Mothering Moments  Comments off

Justin’s Teeth

18 Jul 2005 by

All my sleepless nights for the past weeks are all worth it when I see him smile with his flashing baby teeth. Oh boy, teething is the touchest experience I have with Justin so far. He can cry and cry in his sleep and want lots of comfort nursing. And he likes biting anything that he can put in his month, so have to be watchful.
Luckily he stops biting mommy when nen nen now.
Category: Justin  Comments off

I want to go to cinema!

16 Jul 2005 by
The last time I went to cinema was months ago for The Eye 10. It’s a ghost movie, so I tried not to miss it. Besides, we’re going in a bunch, it’s really cool screaming out together at horror movies.
Since then, it’s hard for me to get into cinema. Why? With a young clingy baby, it’s quite impossible to leave him for 3 hours at night. Justin goes to bed at 9pm, and if I’m quick enough, I may catch a movie at 9.30pm. But my baby needs his feed at 11.30pm or 12am, how to fly home in time? When baby gets older, he knows that mommy won’t be working at night, and will STAY AT HOME at the particular hours. So have to forget about movies at 9pm or 11pm.
Then I’m thinking about watching movie in the afternoon, like 1pm or 3pm. Justin won’t be looking for me during working hours. But that means I have to watch alone. Hubby surely cannot be crazy enough to be at the cinema with me, he has to work. Moreover, if it’s weekend, he prefers to play golf! I haven’t been to cinema alone before. I also have this fear of sitting alone in the aisle, and felt cold and creepy because “something” suddenly sits besides me! This is the results of watching too much horror movies.
*Sigh* So I have to read blogs to know about those movie scripts or what do special about them. Sounds pathetic huh?
Can’t wait for Justin to grow up so I can bring him along. But it’s really hard bringing children to cinema because that depends on the movie type, the time, their moods, or even the weather (what if you park outdoor and it’s raining?). And what if I have another baby then???
That means I have only one solution, watch DVD at home…*Sob, sob*
Category: Ngam ngam cham cham  Comments off

FAQ about BF

14 Jul 2005 by
Lots of friends and relatives know that I fully breastfeed Justin, and I am frequently asked the following questions. I’m not talking about those FAQ which can be found from babycentre or other breastfeeding website, but some really funny and ridiculous ones (at least to me, they sounds funny!). Most of them are asked by my race, so please don’t be offended if I mentioned our different races in M’sia. I just want to release my frustration.

FAQ:
1. Will you nipple be long, darker, bigger, and uglier after breastfeeding?Shoppingmum: My dear, your nipples changed when you’re pregnant, and when you get older. So, even if you don’t breastfeed, your nipples will also change! May as well make good use of it, I mean its MAIN purpose in feeding babies.

2. Will your breasts sag?
Shoppingmum: Again, breast tissue / size change when you’re pregnant and aging. So, if you wear proper bra, your assets should be safe (for a few years!)

3. But why those Malay women’s breasts look sagging after bf? (Normally asked by my Chinese friends / relatives)
Shoppingmum: Not only Malays, Chinese’s breasts will also sag. And it’s not because of breastfeeding!!!! Looking around those Ah Soh, their breasts still “stand still” with they’re in their mid-forties meh???

4. Why still breastfeed? No money to buy formula ah? Only poor people breastfeed.
Shoppingmum: *Smoke coming out from head* Mmmm….what do you think? *Holding fist behind* OK, it’s good for both mommy and baby. It helps mommy to slim down faster after giving birth, and can still have a well balance diet, no need to starve like hell or pay money to Marie France. For baby, it’s the best milk they can get.

5. Sure or not? Formula milk all got DHA, EHA, SA,…ABC, your milk have ah?
Shoppingmum: You think cow / goat milk got but human milk don’t have?

6. Yes, that’s why we buy formula.
Shoppingmum: It’s because the milk company wants to make formula as close to breastmilk as possible, that’s why they add all those artificial stuffs in it! Breastmilk has all of them!

7. Ya meh? Why most Malays breastfeed and their babies still not smart?
Shoppingmum: *Want to kick butt liao* How do you know they’re not smart? You test their IQ? Breastfeed babies normally have higher IQ, but no matter how smart a baby is, it’s still depending on the upbringing and environment. Besides, when a mother breastfeed, she’s holding the baby close to her, and baby will feel calmer and contented.

8. How you know so much? You only have 1 baby. I have more leh.
Shoppingmum: That’s because I get my facts straight (you morons!)

9. Got enought milk meh? You’re not cow leh…
Shoppingmum: Cows are mammals. Mammals breastfeed. Humans are mammals, we SHOULD breastfeed too. If you do it and forget about your bottles / formula, you’ll sure have enough. If there’re some day your productivity goes low, come and see me! I know where, how, and from whom to get help! *Very proud, got MMB*

10. Then, what do you do with the bottles I gave?
Shoppingmum: Make rattles for Justin. *Smile*

11. Huh? That means at night you still have to take care by yourself? Didn’t rest during confinement too? (To Chinese, it’s best to EAT & REST only during confinement)
Shoppingmum: Yes, I bf from confinement till now. And take care of Justin by myself at night, no matter how many times he wants nen nen. And can still go to work tomorrow!

12. Next time when you’re old sure got lots of pain, didn’t rest during confinement.
Shoppingmum: Ok, worry about that later. *No eye see*

13. Don’t understand you, got money don’t buy formula; got maid don’t let maid take care at night and sleep more; Why so susah being a mother?
Shoppingmum: If I don’t take care and breastfeed my baby, why give birth in the first place? Why be a mother and don’t fulfil the responsibilities? *No mood to talk already*

14. Ok lah, ok lah. See one day when your son don’t want to quit (they mean after 1 year old), and want nen nen from you, sure others will laugh at him.
Shoppingmum: *Going to faint* It’s advisable to breastfeed until 2 years old. Children will wean off when they’re ready. If others laugh at him, it’s not because he’s weird. I’ll tell him that he’s special, and mommy is giving the best milk to him. A mammal / mother has to do what a mammal / mother has to do!!!! It’s normal to breastfeed!

Category: Breastfeeding  Comments off

Bad Day for A Boy

13 Jul 2005 by
A grandfather brought a happily smiling kid to kindy yesterday, and before leaving the school, this boy happily waved goodbye to his grandpa. Then, a few minutes later, the boy’s mother reached school in an angry face and asked the boy to come to the gate. She was scolding and lecturing the boy about him not finishing his water at school for a while, and the boy’s was frowning. Then, the mother asked the boy to get in and she left without saying goodbye.
This boy came into the school with tears in his eyes, and didn’t have mood to sing or play with other children. He was in a bad mood and couldn’t care of what’s happening around him the whole morning. Even though he used to be active in class, yesterday he was silent and moody thru out the day. Poor boy, it’s a bad day for him.
I wonder why the mother must come and lecture him at school over a bottle of water? Why can’t she do it when he’s at home? Why must she scold the boy in front of the school where all the other children can see, and make the poor boy feel so bad about himself? Doesn’t she know that children have self-esteem too?
Category: Ngam ngam cham cham  Comments off
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