Talk about Everything
Seriously, do married couples really talk about everything they have in mind to their spouses? As long as I remember, hubby and I used to talk about everything when we’re dating for 4 years. After we got married, we only talk about certain topics that either of us thinks it’s important to let the other one knows about it, like regarding Justin, baby, families, and some other stuffs. Both of us talk less about our work to each other, except those major “happennings”.
When we’re out with my business partners and talk about some issues, hubby will have that clueless look on his face, as if he’s wondering what we’re talking about while my friends’ husbands have no problems joining in the conversation. I wonder if I should start talking about my work to hubby again. It’s just like sometimes my work is so plateau, and I’m too occupied with Justin at home, and when he’s back, I’d rather talk about other things than my work.
Same goes to hubby, I’m always the last to know about his work too. Like the time when he’s old landlord in KL planned to sell off the premise, he didn’t say a word to me. When my SIL and PIL asked me about it, I had no idea what they’re talking about, until I questioned hubby. He said it’s no big deal, and he knew how to handle it.
Both of us are happy with our relationship, but I wonder if we’re not handling it good enough. According to Willard F. Harley, Jr. Ph.D.’s book (His Needs Her Needs), hubby and I are not talking enough. Reading that book makes me feel like there’s something wrong in our relationship. Mmm… should start talking more, but not to the extend of “nagging” on hubby. That should be scary.
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You wear suits to the office every day. So make more effort making them look good with the right shirt and tie combination.,,
February 27th, 2006 at 10:22 pm
well… my wife and I normally don’t bring home our work (including talking about it) except for gossips
I guess that’s why it’s important for husband and wife to have more things in common… so that they will have more conversations that is beneficial to both… rather than one talking and one have their mind elsewhere but act as though he/she is listening
However… more talking could lead to more arguments or misunderstandings… I guess a balance is what we need, don’t you think so?
February 27th, 2006 at 11:49 pm
Hubby and I used to talk a lot more too.. but with the arrival of Zara, all our conversation revolves around her, and our time too.. so less time spent together, so less sharing of information news..
Btw, you still running the kindergarten? I thought you’d stopped? The book sales that I went too, have got very good books to be used in kindergartens.. They even have those giant books. I didn’t buy for Zara b’cos it’ll take too much room to store them.
February 28th, 2006 at 2:09 am
Hi, sorry that my comment might be not valid since I desperately still single ha ha…But from what I have observed from Finnish couple, normally they try not to bring any work related issue & stuff home, they have much more other thing to discuss like their hobby and kids or dog/pets (replacement for kids once they have grow up and leave the house). So maybe have a common hobby together to develope more topics together.
Well frankly speaking unless you start involve in golf… quite hard to have new hobby
you know what I mean.
Nevertheless, I think sometime husband keep working stuff from wife is because they don’t want to let them worry.. sometime “complex” issue are simple depent how you look at it.
February 28th, 2006 at 2:23 am
Egghead, yes, maybe too much talking will create conflict too. I didn’t think of it earlier when blogging.
Zara’s mama, stopped one of the kindy, but still have another one and 2 centres operating. Read about the sales from your blog, will check out MPH when I’m free. Same as me, Justin and baby are the main topics of discussion, really no time for pat toh too.
Melon29, I couldn’t get get your ID info, but you sounds like my friend in Finland right????
February 28th, 2006 at 3:45 am
don’t mind not talking too much with spouse (most stuff nowadays revolve around the baby anyway); so the occasional big hugs from each other are much more appreciated
February 28th, 2006 at 3:45 am
If you and hubby are happy with your relationship, I don’t think you should worry about not “talking” enough. Though some general rules would probably apply to every couple, I think whatever makes you both tick is more than fine if you both are happy and none is complaining about the situation. Who has time to have such a full blown conversation daily anyway? Seriously, with the kids and so little time in the evening and weekends, sometimes we have to resort to emailing each other less we forget what we want to say. Hahaha.
February 28th, 2006 at 7:24 pm
agree with you, after having kids the conversation topics has changed. I talk to my hubby via MSN can u imagine that!!!
he’s also the same, doesn’t talk much bout his work unless something big happens..maybe a pilot’s life is boring hahaha..
i don’t tell him much as well, unless there’s something i’m not satisfied with soemthing @ work and need a punching bag *oopss*
but i think it’s good if u have common interest as a couple (which I don’t have :()..or else at least have more things to talk about. That’s one of the reason why I’m forced to watch star trek!!!
February 28th, 2006 at 8:25 pm
I know the “clueless look”, I seen a lot.
I told hubby I am going to a meeting, and he not lsitening and said I never tell.
sometime when I feel hubby not talking a lot, I will ask hubby will he be comfortable if I like to know more about his work, and this will know whether he want to share.
everyone have different mentality to their relationship, follow you instinct instead of the book, then you will know do you need to “nag” your hubby or not :D.
oh, sometime their work are too tiring, they don’t wish to talk after get home, this is what my hubby told me.