Preparation for Confinement
Another 6 weeks to pop, and I’m getting very anxious. Baby is very cramped inside as there’s lesser space for her to move around. During my previous scan on last Saturday, she still hasn’t turned head down yet, but lying across. Hopefully she’ll turn head down so I won’t have to go for C-sec.
My mum and some friends have been asking what’s my arrangement when baby comes, as Justin is still very young and needs lots of attention. BTW, my maid has to do the housework, and MIL is too old to help out. Here’s the alternatives they suggested:
1. Get a confinement lady:
I didn’t have a confinement lady last time because I was afraid that she’ll protest strongly to my effort in breastfeeding, no pacifier to avoid nipple confusion, and no sarong cradle. Anyway, I don’t take most of the Chinese traditional confinement food and am allergy to alcohol. My MIL can do simple cooking for me, but she’d add a few slides of gingers only in the dishes. Of coz, without any extra help or a maid at that time, and with hubby’s working in KL most of the days, I was really tired taking care of newborn Justin by myself. Even if I have one, baby will still be taken care by me as I have to bf her on demand and the confinement lady won’t have much to do. On top of that, it costs a lot too.
2. Send Justin to my mum in Penang
My mum has been suggesting to me that she can take care of Justin for me during confinement. But hubby feels that we’re neglecting him by sending him away when there’s a new family member, and worries that he might reject baby later. I also prefer to have Justin by my side, even if I know he’ll probably get jealous and fussy over new baby’s arrival, and it’ll take some time for him to get adjusted to having a new baby sister. I’ve mentally prepared for the worst behaviour I’ll have from him. But who knows? Maybe he’ll be good!
3. Get my mum here!
This is the best option ever. But my mum hates staying in Ipoh! Why? She has this attachment of sleeping on her own bed and has problem sleeping elsewhere. That’s why she seldom travels. She was here before for a week, and didn’t sleep well until she got sick when she got back. But if she agrees to come, she would be one great help to me as Justin likes her a lot. Whenever I mention option #3, my mum will suggest #2. We’ve yet to find a solution.
4. Hubby stays at home for the first 2 weeks
This is very unlikely to happen. I’ve been persuading him not to play golf during the first few weeks but he gave me the super-sad-and-disappointed look as if it’s the end of the world! He can still go to work, but I’ll appreciate it if he can come home straight after work, but not heading to the golf course / range before and after work plus during weekends. This is the last option, as hubby prefers options #1 and #3!
Sigh! Next time, if he wants another baby, I’ll make sure he lose his golf set first before going for labour. Now, surely can’t do it because he’s protecting his precious extremely well as I threatened to throw his set away!
Useful Links:
Get fitted for trousers and look good without the hem dangling around your ankles. Wear a tailor-made shirt for effortless style.,,
March 20th, 2006 at 9:31 pm
Wow.. your hubby is not very supportive huh? Cannot give up golf for 2 weeks with the new arrival of his baby. *tsk tsk tsk*.
Never mind if everybody has to adjust to this new arrangement, (#1, #2, #3) he’ll not be sacrificing golf. *tsk tsk tsk*
If me, I’ll burn up his golf set, and I’m capable.
Btw, #3 will be the best la, but kesian if your mum cannot sleep in your house, and has to help out, it’ll be very difficult for her.
March 20th, 2006 at 9:41 pm
hide the golf set… or give it to other people if he refuse… LOL!
send Justin away ah? he will not miss you meh? later he jealous wor
March 20th, 2006 at 9:53 pm
I think sending Justin away is not a good option as he will get the wrong message about the baby. I didn’t have any confinement lady as well for my two babies and since we didn’t have any mom or mil to help out, hubby helped for the first 2 weeks. Luckily he is not a golfer! For food, we catered. Hubby wanted to help me cook but the man can’t even differentiate between onions and garlics! (*rolls eyes*) Perhaps if you catered your food it will free mil to help you with other things around the house or with Justin? Have you thought about who will look after Justin during your delivery? We didn’t have anyone to help out, so we took my girl along to the hospital and she and hubby slept on the floor in the hospital room with me. Hehe.
March 20th, 2006 at 10:00 pm
your hubby not bad, he know sending Justin to your mom will give him a wrong message :).
Golf is your hubby’s 2nd wife? LOL…
March 21st, 2006 at 2:41 am
try to get a really good confinement lady like I did ( your hubby would still be able to play gold ;-P ) … but i think it may be a bit too late now coz delivery is so near and all the good ones are probably booked.
the confinement lady who was with us is from penang and will travel within the peninsular; she didn’t have any issues with #1 - i’ll give her a rating of 5 of 5.
got a pic of her here …
March 21st, 2006 at 4:15 am
Whatever you do, I’m sure it will be in the best interest of everybody in the family. Don;t stress out so much. I had the same problem when my old maid wanted to go back home and the new maid wasn’t to arrive yet.
I think your hubby should help out more. Take some annual leave. Or get your maid to concentrate on Justin instead of the house. Just have her sweep the common areas and leave the rest until later. If your mom can come down for a week or so, then that would be great also. But to send Justin away for the entire confinement period…aiyoo, nanti dia rindu woo. I wouldn’t be able to do that.
Hope you find a solution that’s best for you and your family. All the best!!
March 21st, 2006 at 5:38 am
hmmm, seems like a tough call to me too. whatever it is, hopefully you’ll have a great way to solve this headache issue.
and hopefully Justin will be welcoming his baby sister with a great open heart!
March 21st, 2006 at 6:51 am
Go, do an alakazam to his golf set. Make them dissappear. Having your mom down is a good idea, but like you said, she has sleeping problems…..
I took care of Gordon single-handedly with MIL doing simple cooking and morning bathing only. The rest, i kau tim myself. Like you, i detest confinement ladies. They’re very whiny these days and demand easy workload.
I guess you might just have to work things out with hubby. At least for the 1st 2 weeks, which is the most tiring of all. Especially if you have to go for C-sect.
*hugs* dont worry, suin tou kiu tau ji yin jik.
March 22nd, 2006 at 7:48 am
Zara’s mama, I was very angry with his respond at first, but am slowly cooling off. I admit that he’s being selfish of not letting it go even if only for the first few weeks. Hopefully, he’ll realise how hurt that option will be to me later.
Egghead, the golf set is in his car 24/7. If I can move it away, I’d have done so!!! Too heavy lah.
Mumsgather, you had a single room right? I thought of that too, but I still prefer to have Justin at home but visiting me daily at the hospital. At least it will be more comfortable for him.
Maria, golf is his girlfriend, first wife, mistress, soul mate, in short, his life. *Sob Sob*
Daddy nick, maybe I’ll get the contact from you if there’s the only option I have.
Along, I’ll arrange my maid to help out more on Justin at that time, she’s better at handling him physically comparing to my aging MIL. Yes, the house chores can be tutup mata for a while.
Greenapple, I’m praying everyday that he’ll accept his sister with open arms! Wish me luck.
Samm, very tao thong. Still thinking and thinking, and hope that my boat will find the harbour loh…
March 22nd, 2006 at 10:27 pm
Yah, we had a single room cos they ran out of doubles. When I had my first, we took a double so that hubby could have a place to sleep. Don’t worry so much about Justin accepting baby cos I think he will easily accept since their age gap is small and he’s still quite young. I think when they’re older and understand more things, they will have more difficulty accepting. My girl was two when baby arrived and she accepted him easily then tho they fight a lot now.