Somewhere over the rainbow…

My Breastfeeding Journey

When I was single, I used to think that breastfeeding is old-fashioned and only those stay in rural areas do it. Kick me, I was really naive that time.

When I knew I was pregnant with Justin, I was thrilled as hubby and I planned for the pregnancy, and it’s really amazing to see the test kit with 2 red strips! Then, I went shopping with SIL at Anakku where she’s a member. There was a sales on, and I grabbed some babies clothes, accessories, and 2 baby bottles. SIL told me I’d need one for milk feeding and the other one for water. Being first time mum, I took her advice. I thought it’s normal to feed formula milk as most mothers around me do it.

I only read about pregnancy, labour, and childcare during the first trimester. Then, one day, I overheard this conversation over Mix FM about breastfeeding. At the same time, the topics was on Nan Yang newspapers, and I read about it. At that moment, I realised that I have a choice to give my baby the best nourishment he can get, and I’d regret it if I didn’t give it a try.

So, I went to MPH and bought books about breastfeeding and read them like bibles. BTW, I checked on Mymomsbest to learn from other mothers’ experience. The more I learnt, the more determine I was. I thought I was well-prepared and breastfeeding will come easy for me.

When Justin’s born, I was able to latch him on very well right from the first day. I stayed in a baby-friendly initiated hospital, so I was able to room in with baby. Things were well until I was discharged. I was having very bad engorgement, and the lactation nurse who visited me ask me to pump the excess milk, which means empty the breasts to prevent engorgement or mastitis. So, I did what she said. Just pump after every feed as Justin couldn’t empty the breast. At that time, he’s feeding at Little that I knew, the – 2 hourly, and I pumped after every feed day and night. Little that I know, human’s breasts won’t be empty. The more I pumped, the more milk I got. Try to imagine me having leaking or letdown at all time, and finished 24 pcs of disposable breast pads in 2 days! In short, I was a walking cow. The good thing was I occupied MIL’s freezer with my milk, and Xin Yi and Li Wei had their shares of breastmilk too.

Most of the articles I read were about how hard to produce more milk, but none about excess milk. Justin was not coping well after 1st week as my letdown was so strong and he’s choking or vomitting during nursing. He’d let off and had milk spraying on his face! It’s so awful to see him sufferring while he’s trying to cope with the milk. Luckily, I got some advice online, and managed to search for articles about overactive letdown.

So, to equalize demand and supply, I sufferred the engorgement to signal my body for minimizing milk production. Before feeding Justin, I’ll pump until letdown was over and then only latch him on. Basically, I was doing the opposite way of getting more milk. After a couple of weeks, Justin and I had finally come to a state where we enjoy breastfeeding times together. I was happy to hold him and see him nursing to sleep in my arms, which was something that wasn’t there before as we’re too busy stopping the milk and cleaning up the mess. Finally, things went well for us.

I wanted to have another baby soon, but I didn’t plan it like Justin. It’s not easy to plan a pregnancy without a predicted cycle. So, hubby and I had this mentality of letting nature ruled. And I was pregnant with Isabelle when Justin’s about 8 months old.

This time, I wanted to breastfeed him during pregnancy, and hopefully I’ll be able to try tandem nursing. Too bad, I didn’t have a smooth pregnancy, and was forced to wean him off. I felt so guilty sometimes, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to give him the best for a longer period. But I kept my fingers crossed that he’ll remember how to latch on after Isabelle’s born, or take expressed breastmilk thru bottle. However, none of these happenned. Justin doesn’t like to take breastmilk anymore.

Now, I’m a cow to Isabelle. We’re doing very well because I am more well-prepared. And I’ve managed to store at least 60 oz of frozen breastmilk for her in the freezer now without pumping like crazy last time. Even if she doesn’t managed to finish the expressed milk I’ve prepared for her when I’m not around, I don’t feel sad pouring away those 2 oz plus of milk into the sink. I know my body well now, and there’ll always be milk for her if I don’t give up.

Of coz, the only inconvenient I have is I can’t go on diet to lose weight as I’m worring about the effect on breastfeeding. So, losing weight will be much slower, but I hope breastfeeding will help. But if I can choose, I’ll rather have my kids taking my milk then dieting to squeeze my body in S-sized clothes.

To me, breastfeeding is great. But I respect other mothers’ decisions for not doing it, however, they have no idea what they’ve missed!

Funny Incidents

I went to work early this morning, but came back at noon. When I got back home, Justin was clinging on to me, so I had no choice but to bring him to my room where I’d pump my milk. He wanted me to read, play, and poo poo while I was trying to pump, and I’d forgotten to lock the door. Ok, I was nak*d when I pumped. And guess what, MIL didn’t know we’re in the room and just opened the door and saw me nak*d! I was shocked and so was she! Justin was surprised why both of us screamed! It’s so embarrassed, but I pretended nothing happenned after that!

When I got downstairs, Justin was still very clingy to me and he wanted me to carry him everywhere. He didn’t want kakak or MIL to touch him. When Isabelle’s awake from her nap, she somehow heard my voice and was crying out loud. My maid couldn’t pacify her, but when I put Justin down and carry her, she stopped crying immediately. She knows how to differentiate me from other people who’s carrying her. At the same time, Justin wanted to be carried as well.

So, I carried both of them at the same time with both arms, and walk around the house doing …. mmm … I can’t remember what I did while carrying them!!! But I know my arms were sore, and I was really tired. Oh ya! I remember now, I was trying to put Isabelle back to sleep again. When she’s asleep, I put her down. Then, I brought Justin to the nap room and we did reading, games and songs, before he fell asleep.

I was quite tired after that and decided to take a quick shower before going out again. And there I was, standing in the shower taking my bath, and suddenly I realised something’s not right. I was bathing with my br*s on!!! What the heck! I wasn’t putting on clothes when I needed to and was on them when didn’t!

Funny / embarrassed or not?

Back to Work

I’ve started working since Monday, and after 5 working days, I think Justin and Isabelle have been adapting well.

For the first 2 days, I was so tired when I reached home, I couldn’t bring myself up to run and play with Justin outside the house while carrying Isabelle. My legs were sore and I could feel my head spinning.

During bedtime, Justin asked me to play horse-riding with him. He’s not riding on me, but we’ll use each other’s bolster to run about in the room and acting like riding on a house. I couldn’t pretend I was enjoying the game, but just walking around dragging the bloster. Justin was playing at first but then he stopped and looked at me, puzzled why I was not doing it the way he did. Hubby said I was spoiling the whole thing and took over the game from me. I think I spoilt the fun too as I was too tired.

Hubby went to KL on Wednesday, and as usual, I’ll try my best to spend time with them when hubby’s not around. Hubby and I had moved out our things from the study room and made it playroom for them. It’s much easier to handle them in a room as Justin can play with the toys while I was cradling Isabelle. At least I could sit and rest while watching him.

I didn’t work long hours, but still extremely wore off when I reached home. Maybe my body is not adapting well yet. So, I’m taking things slowly as being a mother, it’s not convenient to be sick. Fortunately, I seldom fall sick after entering motherhood. I have no idea why by being tired and busy, I’ve got healthier. Maybe I’m happy to be a mother, even if there’re some sacrifices to be made, and major changes have taken places in my life style, yet I’m much happier now.

Get Back in Shape

Everyone around me tells me that I look really fat right now. Seriously, after gaining about 17kg in 9 months, must I lose off all the weight in 7 weeks?

Some post-natal mothers are blessed with high metabolism or their good gens to shed off weight like a piece of cake shortly after delivery, too bad, I didn’t get them it from my mom. My mom is only 5 ft tall and weighs about 38 kg. I look like a giant walking beside her. And if you don’t look at her face which shows some signs of aging (she’s 54 years old already), you’d think that she’s probably a teenager!

After giving birth to me and my brother, my mom could easily lost all her excess weights during confinement. She can’t understand why I look so plump right now, and she thinks that my MIL has pumped me up during my confinement and fed me with too much food. Of coz, it’s really hard to turn down MIL’s cooking which really good at that time, and MIL has this mentality of eating VERY WELL during confinement to restore my post-natal health. Sigh! I think I didn’t take note of the calories count and that’s why I didn’t lose weight faster this time.

The funny thing is I didn’t go on diet last time, and still managed to loss weight thru out 6 months, but I was 3 kg above pre-pregnancy weight. However, I could fit in most of my clothes. But this time, I really notice that weight losing is much slower. Some mothers told me that it’s harder to lose weight after second child birth. Really huh?

Hubby didn’t say anything about my look, but when I told him that so and so said I’m fat, he will tell me to relax and exercise. Anyway, he believes that I’ll get back in shape as time flies.

Well, I got to thanks those who comment about my weight and see it as a motivation to lose weight. But I won’t go on diet as that might affect my effort in breastfeeding, and for exercise, I doubt I have the time and energy to put up with it. So, fingers cross that breastfeeding will help me to burn at least 500 kcal more per day, and with a healthy balance diet, I’ll get back in shape.

Poo poo

If you’re eating or just ate, to avoid you from throwing out, please skip this post.

Before being a mother, I hate it when someone’s discussing about poo poo openly, expecially over meals. It sounds dirty and disgusting to me when my MIL and SIL discussing about Xin Yi’s or Li Wei’s poo poo of the day during dinner and acted no big deal about it. If the description had gone too far, my other SIL (who doesn’t have kids) and I would ask them to stop talking about it.

But after having Justin, I can clean his poo poo, talk about it, or even have it on my hands without bothering me a bit. What a drastical change huh?

I’m not sure what formula-fed babies’ poo poo look like as Justin’s started supplemented with formula when he’s 9 months old. At that time, he had been taking solid food, so his poo poo was like any normal adult’s poo.

However, breastfed babies’ poo poo are very watery, and yellowish or orange in colour. Besides that, both my babies have very explosive poo which shoots a distant away.

I have a few funny incidents with their poo. With Justin, my MIL liked to potty train him to poo during my confinement. She’d place 2 pieces of newspapers in line as Justin’s poo could go quite far. Then, she’d say “mmm mmm” and hoped that Justin’d pee or poo, and whenever he did pee or poo, she’d happily tell me that she could train him to be a clean baby. I don’t like to do it as I was too lazy and it’s only coincident to me that Justin did it when she wanted him to do it.

But Justin would show some signs when he’s about to poo after a few weeks old, so I’d rather bring him to the toilet and let him “shoot” in the loo. Once I thought he’s done his business, so I brought him back to the room and opened the drawer to get him some clean nappy. But this little boy decided to let go an explosive poo again and poo directly in the drawer. I was panic and clueless of what to do with the drawer of baby’s clothes and nappies coevered with poo! I called hubby and MIL for help! It took us a while to clean the tier of drawers, moved out and washed the clothes and nappies, and cleaned up Justin. Until today, I still found it funny when I see the drawer which once filled with Justin’s sh*t.

Besides that, Justin would poo immediately after or during a feed during the first few weeks. Sometimes his nappy was not tightly wrapped and when he poos when he’s still nursing, I’d have his poo on myself, pillow or my bed. It’s really messy and involved lots of cleaning up after that. And I didn’t have a maid back then!

Of coz, it’s the same with Isabelle. She had her poo poo on my sink, on my wall, all over the playpen and cot, and also on me, hubby, MIL, SIL and my maid. Whenever I thought she’s done and cleaned her up, she’ll poo again!

However, the best thing about breastfed baby’s poo is it’ll stop for a few days once the baby’s digestive system is mature. I remember Justin would go without a poo for about 10 days and that got my MIL worried. She continued doing the newspapers thing to get Justin poo for days and got really stressed out when she failed. Ha! On the other hand, I was really glad that Justin didn’t poo for days. Less work to do!

Now, I’m waiting for Isabelle’s turn to worry MIL. Ha!

Synchronising Morning Nap Routine

In order to ease my MIL and maid’s “burdens” at home before I start work, I’ve been trying to setting up some routines for Isabelle, so that she can nap almost at the same time as Justin and both MIL and maid can get some chores done during that period.

Day 1:
Since Justin takes his nap at about 11am in the room downstairs, I brought Isabelle in that room too. We did some reading, and when Justin’s almost falling asleep, I put Isabelle down on the mattress beside him. That’s a big mistake as soon after she’s lying flat, she cried out loud. My very much asleep boy opened up his eyes widely and said “kuk, kuk”, means mei mei cried. I quickly carried her and pacified her to sleep, but Justin was already alert and active. Oh boy, the process of putting both of them to sleep is really driving me crazy!
Status: Failed

Day 2:
Put Isabelle to sleep first and placed her in the cot just out of the room. Then, “dragged” Justin to nap. Again, just when he’s about to snooze off, Isabelle’s woke up crying. I think the hall is too hot, and she’s not feeling comfortable.
Status: Failed

Day 3:
Already experienced. Put the standing fan nearer to the cot and MAKE SURE Isabelle’s in deep sleep first. Again, got Justin to nap in the room. This time, Justin could fall asleep faster as there’s nothing to distract him. After that, I carried Isabelle to the room and put her down near to Justin. Too bad she’s making lots of noises and I had to pat her to sleep. Then, it’s Justin’s turn to make funny noises, and got to pat him too. I must look like doing some kind of dance movements from Barney’s clips patting both of them at the same time!
Status: Almost succeed

Day 4 till now:
Ok, my patience level was badly challenged. This time, I decided to place them to sleep in different places. Justin’s sleeping in the room and Isabelle’s in the cot outside the room. So far so good, at least both of them can sleep for 1 hour and we can get things done.
Status: Successful finally!

Watch Out for Barney

Hey mommies and daddies in KL and JB, Barney’s next stop will be in these 2 places. So better watch out which Jusco he’ll be going to!

They didn’t accounce the location just now, so I have no idea either. Maybe can try calling any Jusco customer’s service centres in KL or JB to find out more details.

Oh boy, it’s even more crowded at today’s 7pm show. Hubby tried to capture the show in viewcam but it’s too crowded and today’s parents were not cooperate. You see, only kids are allowed to sit in front of the stage, but those younger kids can go in with one parent, but only allowed to sit at the back of other kids. However, some parents moved forward and stood carrying their kids and blocking the view of those sitting behind.

Before the show ended, Justin wanted to come out from there and I carried him watching from the side. I can feel my backbone cracking now! Didn’t carry him for more than a month and I realise that he’s getting heavier, or my arms getting weaker?

So, you better watch out when will Barney be in these 2 towns and go with your kids!