Potential Indo Maid
During our Penang trip last weekend, my friend’s husband who happenned to see the way at how I was handling my kids said that I’m a good potential candidate for indo maid. It might be a way of saying the following:
1. I’m dark (mmm…that depends on the reference :P)
2. I’m short (majority of indo maids I see are not tall, which I’m not!)
3. I’m good at kids
I’ve never thought about being a full time mother when I was younger, but I know that I’ll do my best to be a great mother, when I’m ready. I’ve had my days of clubbing, shopping like no tomorrow, working long hours, “dating” and etc before I’ve finally made up my mind to get married. Once, my friend asked me why I didn’t want to get married even if I’ve already engaged and stayed together with hubby (that time fiance), the reason is I was not ready for marriage. I associate marriage as a big commitment where children are involved. And I wasn’t ready for kids yet, even if hubby and PIL had been “pressuring” me.
But once the wedding date had been decided, I prepared myself not only for the big day, but for being a mother as well. I started buying and reading baby and pregnancy related books way before I planned for Justin. I also started taking folic acid and daily multivitamin as supplements 6 months before the wedding day. You can say that I was trying too hard, but I feel that I need to get prepare to be a mother.
So when both my kids arrived, I don’t go “gila” like some of my friends do. I know they love their babies too, but still they only love the good part of the babies, and try not to take FULL care of them. I understand if the mother is working, she has no choice to attend to her baby 24/7. But there are non-working moms who’ll rather get out of the house but not spending time with their kids. They leave the kids to the maids, babysisters or grandparents. And don’t even want to take care of them at night!!!
I personally know a mother (sort of a sui lai lai) who leaves the daughter to the maid since she’s a newborn. Now, the girl sticks to her kakak like she’s her mother, and speaks in Indo slang. But what does the mother do? Play mahjong everyday!!!What’s going on with these mothers?
I keep hearing some mothers complaining about how naughty their kids are comparing to mine, and they or their hubbies will go crazy taking of their babies alone. Huh? How come parents nowadays are so scared of their own fresh and blood? Like my hubby said, if don’t want to take care, then don’t give birth. But many still give birth for the sake for having kids.
I’m not a saint, I have my hard time too. I’ll raise my voice too if Justin’s driving me crazy, but I’ll make sure that I don’t lose my calm unnecessary and frequently. I don’t want my kids to remember me as a mother who screams a lot! So, if I raise my voice, I’ll make sure I say sorry to my kids. I don’t want to lecture my kids in public, if Justin’s really naughty, I try to talk nicely to him. I don’t know, I’ve seem parents hitting their kids in public without taking care of the children’s feelings, and I think it’s inappropriate. If want to scold, do it back home, please.
It’s my choice to have 2 kids with a closer gap, and there’re some sacrifices to be made sometimes. Like I don’t go out dinner with friends anymore, unless my kids are going along. I don’t want to miss our bedtime routine where we read, play, sing and laugh together before heading the sack. Some said that I can do it the next day, so why bother? Well, to us adults, it may not seems important. But to Justin and Isabelle, it’s a big deal to them. Justin likes to play and read with hubby and I around 9pm, it’s already a habit to him. Isabelle sleeps early, and she needs me to be there with her. I don’t agree when I hear comments like “you’re so cham, have to stick at home, I pity you!” For god’s sake, what is so pity about making my kids my first priority?
A decade later on, both Justin and Isabelle will be growing up and they might not want us to read them bedtime story. But those memories of mommy and papa being by their sides when they’re younger will be strongly imprinted on their minds.
BTW, I’m the type who drag my kids along wherever I go, if possible. We’re going to Genting again next month, and to Sarawak in October. At first, Isabelle won’t be joining us to Sarawak as we’re concerned with the hand, foot and mouth disease there. But now, we have made up our minds that we better bring her along. She’s on breastmilk exclusively, and is very attached to me. I don’t want her to cry like hell looking for me later. Even if a lot of my friends would rather travel without their kids, as they think kids are “ma huan” or still want to “pat toh”, I’d rather bring mine along.
That’s why I’m an indo maid material while they’re sui lai lai(s). Ha!
Useful Links:
Be the smartest dresser in the office with tailor made suits and smart Cufflinks. Relax with friends after work with a novelty tie turn up the fun.,,
August 17th, 2006 at 8:30 am
Haha.. I totally am with you in this subject.
I had a conversation with some of my friends, and they ask me why work from home.. why not just leave the kid with the maid. I said I can’t.. then they said.. why not sack the maid and send the kids to baby sitter. I said I don’t think I can do any housework after work. They told me I should leave the kid overnight in the babysitter’s and only bring them back on w/end, then I can have time to do house work and also have my own time.
To me.. like you, I would say, if you can’t even look after the kid, why bother giving birth. I can’t be a SAHM b’cos of financial obligations we have, but after work, my time is all Zara’s until she goes to sleep.
Like you, I would like her to remember these moments I’d spent with her. In 10yrs time, she may not need me, but now she needs me, I’ll have to be there for her, b’cos I’m her mother.
And I can’t understand as well, how some parents can leave their kids over night with babysitters and only see them on w/ends, or don’t even sleep with them and leave the maid to take care of them 100%.
August 17th, 2006 at 10:14 am
agree with you, how can leave kids with maid/bbsitter and sleep with them..aiyoo..i just cant stand this kinda attitude!!
August 17th, 2006 at 6:14 pm
hehe… we also going to Genting… end of this month
August 17th, 2006 at 7:46 pm
I know of some who leave their kids with the grandparents overnight and only come to get them during weekends. One of the grandparents was even in another state so sometimes even the weekend was overlooked. Reason is because, “we dunno how to look after them the way my mother can” I totally disagree with this. I think its very unfair to expect our aged parents to look after our children fulltime even though they don’t mind. If we have to work and our parents are helping out that is understandable but to leave them overnight and over weekends is a no-no!
August 17th, 2006 at 8:33 pm
You said it, woman
I also drag my kids everywhere I do except to the hairdresser, that’s like once every 4 months. Some might call me a not sociable person as I do not go for outings with friends unless my kids can go. Well, to each his own. If they prefer to be siew lai lai, that’s their style, not me.
Sorry, a bit loso today.
August 17th, 2006 at 8:40 pm
Totally agree with mumsgather. My boss is a weekend mum, so she don’t understand why we need to take EL if our kid is sick or something. I think if you can’t take care of your own kids, why have them in the 1st place? Although i send my Jayden to the babysitter in the noon, i insisted to take care of him at night.I think its gd for my baby and myself too cos we’re much closer this way.
August 17th, 2006 at 10:56 pm
Thumbs up for u and all the comments from all the mummys..very impressed!
I’m a working mum,and i also got a maid at home.If i’m not going to gym or got any appointment, i always make a point to go back home early..so that can play with my twins and also put them to sleep my own.
Sometime when i go out “yam cha” with my friend, i dont bring my twins. I will feel guilty when i’m back home..So now i try to bring them to go out with me whenever i go,since they are quite “old” already.
August 18th, 2006 at 12:27 am
Zara’s mama, you’re right. Being a working mom is already a hard decision, not everyone has the privilege of quiting her jobs. But we still need to do our best in taking care of our children. I don’t agree on placing kids overnight and only taking care of them during weekends too, it’s like being parents only “occasionally”, not full package!
Jazzmint, what to do? There’re more mothers like with that attitute than mothers like us!!! We’re aliens to them…
Egghead, why not next month? So I can meet Luke!
MG, during the old days, women are “forced” to take care of children even if they have no experience at all, but they learnt as the babies grew up. Nowadays, most new parents see babies as burdens, not responsibilities. So they rather dump babies to grandparents who they thought are more experience, but didn’t think of how hard it is for them to have broken nights after sleeping thru for more than 30 years!!! What a selfish attitute.
Immomsdaughter, I think all the comments are loso except Egghead, he’s a guy. Ha! Never mind, loso means more inputs on the topic, which I really appreciate.
You reminded me I haven’t cut my hair for more than 6 months already. Got to find time for that!
Sasha, it’s hard to concentrate at work when our kids are sick right? May as well take leave lah…
Annie Q, me too, will feel guilty not going out with kids, so better drag them along!
I like to spend time as a family now than being “single” 
August 18th, 2006 at 2:46 am
Caring my son alone really driving me to nuts, i don’t have my personal time at all until he falls asleep. But no matter how, i still love caring him as he is my precious son.
August 18th, 2006 at 6:21 am
Very well said, Shoppingmum. I 100% totally agree with you.
Whenever people asked us why we didn’t have a maid, we just said, “We have maid what…me and hubby lor”.
You planned very far ahead. That’s good. I only ready to be a mother, searching for all the motherhood related stuff when I was 3 months pregnant.
When we go out, we have to bring Brae along. I rather taking care of Brae myself instead of having my MIL taking care of him. Different approach, I guess or we are just ‘ng sei dek’ to leave Brae with anyone.
So, you are an ‘indo maid’ then I am a ‘maresia maid’…hehehe
August 20th, 2006 at 10:12 am
I am a working mum and one who prefers working than being a SAHM, but I do draw a line - I cannot understand parents who see their children only on weekends. Like you, I wonder why they bother having kids in the first place. With children now, the minute after I leave my office, my attention is switch towards the children & home.
Having boys also make me want appreciate the time I have with them as boys do get independent and less attached with parents at younger age. Well this is the time that they want to play with us, so we better seize the moments.
August 21st, 2006 at 3:29 am
Some of my friends who are SAHMs send their kids to childcare centre for a full day! They told me they simply can’t stand being with their kids whole day! They would rather go high-tea, gym and shopping!! Why do these people bother to have kids in the first place???
I used to leave Damien with my mum during weekdays. But i make it a point to go back mum’s place every night, i can’t imagine not seeing my son for a day! Now we bring him back every night, and i can’t imagine not bringing him home for a night..haha;)
August 21st, 2006 at 7:10 am
ya lor how to not see the child everyday leh? i’m not that good a mother lor cos i hardly read to them and tuck them to bed cos hubby does that most of the time! boo to me la,,,hahahhaa..now slightly motivated a bit..hehehe..Thks for the inspiration!
September 4th, 2006 at 2:16 am
Agree, especially those full time housewives/siu-lai-lai. Leaving my children behind for work is already so dredging for me, not to say the guilt to leave them behind for our holiday.
Last weekend DH went for his company trip (which I’ve never failed to tag along). I didn’t join this time, coz I couldn’t bring the 2 kids (too expensive to get passport, this time going overseas). I’d rather stay with them at home and enjoy the intimate time. Furthermore, I hate pumping - if I can avoid that, I’ll.