Siblings Rivalry
I considered myself “blessed” with a considerate little Justin who doesn’t show much jealousy since Isabelle’s arrival. He’s been very loving towards his little sister, and hardly beats her for the past months.
However, since Isabelle knows how to grab and play with toys, Justin’s beginning to show his obsessiveness and “fights” with her. Even if Isabelle’s playing with her newly bought rattle, Justin will say it’s his and snatch it back. I’ve talk to him endlessly that he needs to share with mei mei, but this little fella tends to forget about our talks.
Last Sunday, we had a dinner with some relatives, and there’re some toddlers and babies involved as well. Being a “casavona” again, Justin was trying his best to get his cousin’s attention. But the little girl didn’t want to play with him, and she hit Justin’s head with her hand at first. Justin was shocked and stood there for a few seconds. Then, she hit him a few times again with her spoon. This time, Justin burst into tears, and came to me for comfort. It’s the first time he’s been hit as there’s no one hitting him at home.
After he’s done crying, I asked if he’d like to play with her, he said “No…no…pain pain” I took that as an opportunity to talk to him.
Me: Justin, do you feel pain pain?
Justin: Pain pain, mei mei (cousin) beat.
Me: So, if mei mei (cousin) beats you and you feel pain, that’s how Isabelle feels when you beat her. So, you don’t beat mei mei, ok?
Justin: …. *thinking*
Me: Don’t beat mei mei, ok dear?
Justin: Ok…
So far so good. He’s not smacking Isabelle’s head for the past 2 days as I kept reminding him how painful he was when he’s beaten by his cousin. He can still remember that incident clearly. But, he still refuses to share his toys.
This morning, he’s happily playing with his tool set in our room.
Isabelle was interested, so I just gave her a piece.
When Justin saw mei mei’s holding his toy, he quickly snatched it away. Gee…
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October 10th, 2006 at 12:25 am
At least, Justin listens & did not hit the Mei Mei anymore. That’s a start. Give him time, at his age, they tend to be possessive of their “properties”.
October 10th, 2006 at 1:40 am
I think its quite normal to have siblings fighting or snatching things away.
My nieces at home is the same, however the 2nd/younger niece would be the big bully instead of the eldest one. The eldest one always get her things snatched by the 2nd one.
October 10th, 2006 at 8:52 am
Immomsdaughter, well, the hitting part stops for 3 days already, and it’s a great progress. Let’s see how well will he behave.
Julian, that happens to my niece and nephew too, the 2nd one is more bold and bully the elder. It’s probably my baby is still to young to “revenge”.
October 10th, 2006 at 4:40 pm
well it’s a good start at least.
i think i will face same problem like you soon!! I can see Faythe push her cousin (3months younger) at MIL’s house sometimes OR she will grab his toys and runaway *roll eyes*
October 10th, 2006 at 9:26 pm
So you too have come to that stage. There will be more. At least Justin listen.
We talk to RE and he will listen after a while he forgets and push the brother again. We are waiting to see things heating up the day when JE can talk and walk.
Then I will be blogging about the Sibling Squabbles part 2 ;0
October 11th, 2006 at 1:00 am
So there’s still some sibling rivalry no matter how loving the child is.. I think it’s normal..
But I think Justin is doing very well already.
Wow.. nobody smack Justin at home? I do smack Zara when she’s very naugthy and after numurous ‘warnings’ issued. I always feel very guilty after that though.
October 11th, 2006 at 7:53 am
Jazzmint, maybe Faythe will be nice to Vkytore and doesn’t show this rivalry at all towards her own brother, but to other kids. I’ve seen some really closed siblings like these before. So, cross your fingers,
WMD, this stage is the hardest for far since I have 2 kids. I try not to be over-protective towards baby, and at the same time also teaching Justin to be more generous and sharing. Gosh, it’s really not easy implying this sharing concept onto a toddler.
Zara’s mama, we try to use the ang mo method by talking to him when he misbehaves. So far, it’s nothing too serious. But if it’s something really bad, I won’t guarantee I won’t lose my cool too.